Debunking "I could never pull that off"
Hellllo my sweetest friends :)
I've been thinking a lot recently about why I love clothes and styling outfits so much and it ties into something much greater than just fashion that I want to have a conversation about, and that's confidence. For as long as I can remember I've expressed myself through the way I dress. A lot of that stems from my childhood and going to a k-12 private school with a boring dress code (thank god no uniform) where most kids generally dressed the same. I hated going to the mall with my friends because everyone would just buy a variation of the same top and it felt so boring to me (that's where my love of thrifting started and hate for fast fashion began). I understand that not everybody is comfortable trying new styles or thinking outside of the box when it comes to getting dressed in the morning. And that is completely & totally fine, not everyone cares about what they wear or standing out in that way. I guess it's kind of a personality trait.
But something that people have said to me for years around my fashion choices and outfits are comments along the lines of: "I could never pull that off" or "you look good in everything." And thank you, it's obviously sweet to hear these things. BUT the whole part of me writing this blog is to say that I promise, you can pull off anything you want.
I only wear outfits that make me feel confident. Sometimes that's a girly outfit, sometimes sporty, sometimes preppy, a lot of times tomboy-ish, mostly colorful etc. But I know from experience, that I will only feel confident if I am comfortable. Comfortable (to me) means that I can move in the outfit, that my body feels good in it, the fabric is soft, etc. But there are literally a million different types of outfits that I would seriously never wear and I swear wouldn't look good on me because I don't feel comfortable in them. Your favorite outfit might make me feel super out place and not like myself. And maybe you can't fathom wearing one of my favorite outfits either, that's the beauty of it I guess.
But on the other hand, sometimes when people say these comments, I feel like they wish they could wear certain outfits. Almost like a, 'teach me how you pull that off' undertone. If you need tips or advice on how to start piecing together outfits outside of your typical comfort zone, but outfits you truly wish you could "pull off," seriously message me and I'll help you. But I promise you can pull off anything you think is cool, even if you don't necessarily think you're cool enough yourself.
WHICH IS ALSO BS.
Comments like: "I'm not cool enough to wear that." "I would look so stupid in that outfit" "You're just cooler than me." I'm like....stfu yes you are cool enough!! I swearrrr you're never going to feel like you can pull something off if thats the attitude you have. I have some friends that say those things but are super confident in themselves and really have no interest in changing their style or exploring different looks-I'm not talking to you guys. I'm talking to the people who I can TELL want dress differently than they currently are. People who want to get more into fashion but don't know where to start. For the friends who want to try to dress more like the people they look up to.
So I've put together 5 steps that will help you feel more comfortable exploring new styles:
1) Gather your inspiration: outfits that YOU think are really cool or pretty or whatever it may be. Get a little mood board going and pick a piece that you want to start with. Maybe it's as simple as a pair of mom jeans, maybe it's chunky pair of sneakers, maybe it's an oversized graphic tee or a tube top. Find a simple new piece to add to your wardrobe and buy it (try Depop/Poshmark/a secondhand shop at first, don't blow a bunch of money on something that might take time for you to feel comfortable in).
2) Have a little photoshoot with yourself. Get comfortable in your own skin, self timer works wonders. Don't go out in public yet because if you're really pushing your style boundaries, it's going to feel weird at first. You might not feel like yourself right when you get dressed, but don't get bummed and change right away! Take some pictures of yourself and have fun styling your new piece/look in different ways.
3) Wear your outfit around the house and then go run an errand. Not with anyone you know but just go out in the world. This will (hopefully lol) be a really good feeling. No one knows you, no one knows how you typically dress, no one knows where you're from or what you're like soooooo like gooo bish!!! Own it.
4) Start to incorporate that style into your weekly outfits! Slowly you can start to collect more and more pieces that you're interested in trying to "pull off" or style, and you'll become more in touch with what you like and what you don't like. It will take time, be patient but have fun with it :)
5) Don't force it. There are so many trends that come and go- undoubtedly they won't all be for you. Don't let social media or anyone make you feel shitty for not being able to pull off every trend that makes its way into mainstream.
Fashion is such a cool & creative avenue to express yourself and connect with other people. You don't need a certain personality to pull off an outfit, you just have to own it. I don't even care who you are I seriously promise you're cool enough to wear anything your lil heart desires!! If you want to be more confident in yourself, try using fashion as a way to get there. I truly think the secret to feeling confident through the clothes you wear, is knowing what you feel happiest in. For me, that's a lot of bright colors, vintage pieces, and oversized looks. Getting dressed is one of my favorite parts of the day.